I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
