dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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