sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
