Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
