Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am one with the molecules
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
