girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
