Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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