U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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