I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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