P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
