now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
