I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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