My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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