So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
