he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
