He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
