My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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