last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
