my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
