ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
