I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize