therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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