Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize