when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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