I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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