hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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