Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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