Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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