I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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