it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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