Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
