You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He felt like a one man threesome
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
