I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
