A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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