Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My liver just had a heart attack.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
