my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
