just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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