yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
