Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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