But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
