He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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