1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
420 ftw
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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