So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
