We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
