Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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