just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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