Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
