wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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