Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
