Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
