He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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