oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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