broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
