Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
barbara walters just said penis...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
