hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
