just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
