I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if only i could text you this smell
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
we should paint friendship bongs
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
