How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
please come you make the beer taste better
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
