Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
