Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
