1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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